#2 : House of Three Sisters
Ever since her mother’s death ten years ago, Prue, being the eldest child, had taken on the role as the caregiver while her father is away at work. She feels responsible for the safety and well-being of her two younger sisters and as a result, she becomes over-protective of them. Piper, the quiet and reserved middle child, understands Prue’s situation and does not complain. However, Phoebe, the youngest sister, is a free-spirited young woman and she resents Prue for restricting her social life.
For the past few weeks, Phoebe had been constantly asking Prue’s permission to go clubbing with her friends, to which Prue consistently replied with a firm “no”. Prue feels that Phoebe may be naive at times and is afraid that other people might take advantage of her, especially in a place like the club. Phoebe, on the other hand, thinks that she is matured enough to take care of herself and is upset with Prue’s lack of trust in her.
This led to a heated argument between the two of them, forcing Piper to step in as the mediator, as she always did whenever her sisters quarrel. Piper understands Prue’s worries because she knows that her younger sister can be irresponsible at times, but she also thinks that Phoebe deserves a bit more freedom.
How should Piper go about resolving the conflict between her sisters without hurting anyone’s feelings? What should Piper do to mend her sisters’ turbulent relationship?
For the past few weeks, Phoebe had been constantly asking Prue’s permission to go clubbing with her friends, to which Prue consistently replied with a firm “no”. Prue feels that Phoebe may be naive at times and is afraid that other people might take advantage of her, especially in a place like the club. Phoebe, on the other hand, thinks that she is matured enough to take care of herself and is upset with Prue’s lack of trust in her.
This led to a heated argument between the two of them, forcing Piper to step in as the mediator, as she always did whenever her sisters quarrel. Piper understands Prue’s worries because she knows that her younger sister can be irresponsible at times, but she also thinks that Phoebe deserves a bit more freedom.
How should Piper go about resolving the conflict between her sisters without hurting anyone’s feelings? What should Piper do to mend her sisters’ turbulent relationship?
posted by Faidah @ 1:56 AM
5 Comments:
At February 2, 2009 at 4:08 PM ,
abz said...
Hi Faidah,
Piper should first approach each sister individually. Listening is very important in this case, and Piper should let each of them let out their frustrations and grievances. Then, she should play the negotiator, by explaining to each sister the other’s position and feelings.
For example, when she speaks with Prue, she could mention that Phoebe is at a stage where she wants to have a lot of fun, is very impressionable, and probably has a rebellious streak in her. So whatever a figure of authority says, Phoebe will be opposing it without giving it a second thought. Also, Phoebe’s behaviour could be an indirect cry for affection since she lacks a mother’s love, and their father is very busy with work. Piper could suggest to Prue a different strategy in dealing with Phoebe, and that she could always depend on her for support.
On the other hand, Piper could explain to Phoebe that as the eldest sibling, Prue has to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of her young sisters. She could explain to Phoebe that Prue only has her best interests at heart, and does not want any harm to fall on her. She could also explain to Phoebe the dangers of an active nightlife, and suggest to her alternative activities that Prue will approve of.
Lastly, the three of them will have to sit together and discuss cordially a way to reach a compromise.
Hope this helps.
At February 3, 2009 at 12:38 AM ,
kristin said...
Hey Faidah,
Honestly, this situation feels familiar to me. When i just turned 18, my mom did not let me go to any club at all. This made me quite upset, as one of my best friend's birthday celebration was held there. At this point, my elder brother stepped in. He persuaded my parents, and suggested that I can only go clubbing when I am with friends that my parents know, and my parents agreed. I was delighted as the group of friends I am going to club with, are my best friends, and they have always been coming to my house for different celebrations. Therefore since then, my mom have no problem with me going to club.
From my experience, I feel that Piper should talk to both her sisters separately.
To Prue, make her see that Phoebe has already grown up. May suggest to her sister that she would be able to go clubbing, if Prue knows the friends that she is going out with (like in my story). This may make Prue feel abit safer. Prue should also try to let go, and not be over worrying about her sisters anymore as all have already grown up.
But for Phoebe side, I feel that Prue should make it clear that Prue did all that for her sake, and not that she is over possessive or does not trust her. Also, Phoebe should not argue with Prue, as arguing with her sister, would make her seem more immature to Prue. Tell Phoebe that she must make Prue trust her.
I agree with Abdullah that all the three sisters should sit together and have a good discussion, to reach a compromise.
Kristin =)
At February 3, 2009 at 1:02 AM ,
ariana said...
Hi Faidah,
I believe this situation would occur in any household that has teenagers. Thankfully, this never happened in mine or i would be in a dilemma too. Haha!
being the eldest of 3 children, I can identify with Prue. I, too, am protective of my younger brothers and at times, I do get out of hand. But ultimately, it all boils down to trust.
Prue probably finds it hard to trust Phoebe, giving Phoebe's free spirited character. Hence, I feel that Phoebe probably needs to win her sister's trust. Piper could suggest to Phoebe to introduce Prue to the friends she would be going with. this way, Prue would know her friends and can let Phoebe go in peace.
Piper could also have a good talk with Prue about letting Phoebe go. all people grow up and Piper is growing up, regardless of whether Prue wants it or not. Prue has to learn to release her but guide her at the same time. holding a tight rein on her freedom would not do Phoebe any good. if Phoebe gets to go overseas for an exchange program, out of the reach of Prue, she might just abuse the freedom and be in a much worst situation as she's not used to be having so much freedom.
Piper can advice Prue and Phoebe to sit down and have a good talk about their respective concerns and come to a consensus. e.g. Prue can let Phoebe go but with a curfew.
i'm sure the 3 sisters can work it out!
Sincerely,
Ariana
At February 3, 2009 at 1:04 AM ,
Huixin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
At February 3, 2009 at 1:07 AM ,
Huixin said...
Hi Faidah!
Your post is clear, concise and coherent with good illustrations:) I can feel for Phoebe because I am also a free-spirited youngest child.
I agree with Abdullah that providing a listening ear is the first step to understanding both sisters' point of view. For there, she can help them more efficiently.
If I were Piper, I would try to make Prue put herself in the shoes' of Phoebe and vice versa. I would also post questions to make them think and understand each other's positions and feelings. I would avoid putting blame on anyone.
Lastly, Piper could advise her eldest sister that she cannot be there for Phoebe all the time and it is better provide Phoebe her advice and let Phoebe to learn to make correct decisions herself. Also, Phoebe has reached the age whereby controlling approach could backfire easily. Instead, giving her deserving faith and trust would help her become more responsible towards herself because she would not want to disappoint her family.
Cheers,
Hui Xin
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